Ramblings, of children and small stuff

Just finished our roard trip marathon around the South Island of NZ with the boys.  3 boys in 1 car with us and no mobile wifi + frequent rainy spells ... although we loved New Zealand (a lot), we consider that as no small feat  actually quite an accomplishment - possibly even requiring a purple heart medal.

We always knew this trip would be a testing period and hopefully a positive, growing time for our family.  A time to be so close to together that we could get to know each other in a Big Brother style microcosm that allows for little privacy.  No running off to a bedroom, a friend’s house, a pub or a gym for solace when things are tough.  Things boil, they come to a head, words are exchanged, feelings hurt, some time passes, refection occurs and then relations are soothed over.  New boundaries exposed.  New information gleaned about each other.  Sometimes all this happens even when it is just in my own head with my own self.  It is a voyage of discovery in more ways than one.

Lately, these things apply mostly to the kids.  Andy breaking into the arena of pre-teen independence.  Ben fighting homesickness and missing his friends.  Sam moving out of baby cuddles to investigate his control over his parents, brothers and the world.  There’s so much going on at so many levels all the time.   Travelling together, we are forced to deal with all these feelings as they rise and fall.  Every day brings tears and also smiles and giggles.   When one child is happy at least one more is usually seizing the moment to gain centre stage, without realising (bashing another brother accidentally, deciding that having candy is a human right,..).

Travelling with children is undoubtedly a challenge and requires far more energy, forethought and patience than a soley adult experience  that can be filled with sports, shopping and relaxation.  We sometimes arrive at a much anticipated site, filled with excitement to see something new only to hear the so familiar 'what, ANOTHER museum/temple/market???!', 'I'm sooooo bored!', 'can't we just stay in the hostel?'.   It takes a lot of convincing to make these places look attractive to an 8 year old.

Then again, when the children actually get into the journey… when they also gape open-mouthed at a snow capped mountain, smile and frolick in an unbelievably clear and pristine water, thrill at the exposure to some unknown new animal, are surprised by teh tatstiness of a foreign food .. when this happens, all of a sudden it is all worthwhile.   And this does happen.  It happens regularly actually, just not reliably or constantly.

This experience, journey, adventure whatever I may call it, is definitely made deeper and textured with more and different views into the world by having them with us.  There is a  wider spectrum of responses to all that would be wondrous enough already.  The children undoubtedly enhance the experience.  In the way that encompasses the idea that there is no happiness without sadness and there is no pleasure without pain - it's harder work, but with greater reward.   With the children we have a broader context in which to view the rich and varied offerings of different cultures we encounter.  Or we've just lost our minds and still haven't realised!